GoldiLocks and the 3 Bears.


Once upon a time there was a girl called Goldilocks. She had long, thick red-gold hair, blue eyes and a big bright smile. Of course that was all once upon a time.


Goldilocks was traipsing through the woods one day, and she met a big bear. And this bear was great. He showed her around the woods, taught her all the flowers, and carried her basket for her. The only problem was, every time she wanted to go off alone and explore, Big Bear would get really mad, and send her mean text messages. The more she tried to take some space from him, the more he would chase after her. And the one day he SAT on her. He just put his big old butt on her and sat right down.




Eventually Goldilocks, with the help of some of her friends, escaped Big Bear, and she spent a LOT of time alone. And it was nice. She liked her own company. She was fun, and witty, and cute. She told great jokes, and laughed at herself all the time.


And then one day she met another bear. A bear with big paws and a long sexy black mane. He was exotic and smelled nice and was very sweet. He didnít carry her basket or babble on about flowers. He loved talking about all of his escapades and adventures. He told her ALL about himself. And he would say the most amazing things to Goldilocks. He told her she was the most beautiful girl in all the woods and that he wanted to spend forever after just with her. Well, after he got back from his bear-duties and bear-adventures of course. You see, Exotic Bear was a very important bear (VIB) in Forever Forrest. So Exotic Bear went out into the world, and left Forever Forrest. Goldilocks waited for him. She was excited to hear about all of his very important adventures.


And while she waited she picked flowers, and sang to the birds, and braided her hair. And still she waited. So she picked birds, sang to her hair, and braided her flowers.


And still she waited.


And she picked her hair, sang to her flowers, and braided the birds.



But Exotic Bear never came back. He just left Goldilocks alone in the woods forever after. All of sudden Goldilocks had all the space in the world. But she was very sad.



Eventually, with the help of some of her other friends, Goldilocks got over Exotic Bear, and her broken heart became whole again.


And then she met Baby Bear. Baby Bear was the most perfect bear in the history of bears. He was kind and gentle, and sweet and got along with other bears. He was very good looking, as bears go, not too big, not too small. He was, in all manner of things: "just right". But he couldnít win with Goldilocks. If he sent her flowers he was too clingy. If he gave her space he was too distant. If he took her out for porridge, he was trying to get her fat so the other bears wouldn't want her.


This poor bear couldnít do anything right.



Goldilocks now resides in a special home for insane nuns with her 3 cats, who never give her any grief. Except at meal times.